There is nothing to bind us to the idea that we are the body like sex. On the other hand, we have chosen to incarnate into this body for a reason, and the body is our vehicle for acting in this world. Being centered in the body and our present human experience is important, not only for our enjoyment of this life, but also so that we can fulfill the purposes that we have set for ourselves.
Male and female is part of the duality of this world, and exists for the purposes of reproduction throughout the animal and, to a lesser extent, the plant species.
However, from a spiritual point of view sexuality can be an obstacle for the aspirant. Since sex has the capacity to give us so much pleasure, it tends to result in repeatedly remembering the experience and attempting its repetition. In that way it may crowd out the mental space and make it difficult for the aspirant to quiet the mind. As Ramakrishna put it: “A man cannot see God unless he gives his whole mind to Him. The mind is wasted on ‘woman and gold.’ ” (i.e. lust and greed)
The other issue with sex as traditionally taught by spiritual teachers has to do with the energy that is released with the orgasm. This energy is lost as it were, as otherwise it has the potential to move up the subtle spine and raise the level of the aspirant’s spiritual awakening.
Annamalai Swami, a close disciple of Ramana Maharishi, told an amusing story of how Ramana helped him overcome sexual thoughts.
He found his thoughts suddenly interrupted by a beautiful woman who approached Ramana for his darshan and blessing. As the day progressed the thoughts continued and he felt the rising of a strong sexual desire. Ramana suddenly appeared and asked the Swami to stand in the sun on a big rock. Because he had no sandals on, the heat from the rock caused a great pain in his feet, which became almost unbearable. Meanwhile Ramana spoke to Swami about various building matters. By the time Ramana finished the conversation and walked away, the thought of the woman had completely vanished from his mind. All he could think about was his burning feet. Annamalai Swami reported that Ramana’s prank had been a complete cure, as thereafter he had no further interest in the woman.
All of us must go through a cleansing of our desire nature if we want to reach the ultimate goal of self-realization. It may seem that something is given up in the process, but actually the growth of inner joy more than makes up for any perceived loss.
